A Beautiful Body

     For as long as I can remember I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia (precieving my body as much bigger than it actually is) and body image issues. I have wrestled with insecurity and comparison, focusing so much on my own body and perceived shortcomings that I have isolated myself from others and focused on myself more than those around me. It’s been an unhealthy behavior and thought process of mine for far too long but through the past couple years, and this year especially, I have been pursuing healing with the Lord in this area of my life, fighting and choosing to accept what He says about me as truth and rejecting everything that doesn’t line up with His Word and Truth.

     Over the past couple of weeks here in Eswatini we have been doing ministry with children and God has been pouring out beautiful healing over this area of my life as He’s showing me that my body is exactly as He wants it to be. As I’m running and playing tag, God has reminded me of His abundant faithfulness in bringing healing to my body even after breaking my leg less than a year ago. As multiple children crawl into my lap at once, I’m so thankful for every square inch of my legs as there is more space for more children to rest and feel loved. I praise God for my excessively long arms as I’m able to wrap my arms around and hold so many children at once. I’m thankful God created me with gentle hands to wipe tears away, brush hair out of faces, and to rub tired backs.

     For the first time in my life, I’m thankful for the extra pounds I carry on my hips and upper body as children lean against me and babies fall asleep in my embrace. I’m thankful for the softness God has created in my body, and as I’m using my body to love these children well, I no longer wish to be smaller and more angular – I’m simply beyond grateful for the body He has blessed me with and how He has created me.

     I am amazed by God’s goodness and His creation and I am so thankful that He made me a woman. He formed me in a way that I am better able to hold, love, comfort, shelter, nurture and support children than I would’ve been otherwise. As a woman, one day, God willing, my body will allow me to sustain, nourish and give life to another human being! That’s mind-boggling to me and so incredible! How kind and generous my God is to me. 

     And so while I’ve struggled in accepting, seeing and valuing my body for the wonder it is in the past, I’m so thankful for God’s faithfulness in showing me glimpses of how He sees me and the purpose in how He has formed me. My frame is not an accident or coincidence; I was intentionally formed and created by my loving Father and I am so thankful for that. 

Psalm 139:13-14

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. ¹4Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it.”